How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
