This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
This house was built for laser tag.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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