part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
