i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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