She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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