It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
