Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
pray to the hookup gods
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
