You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
