fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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