So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
