I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
