Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
