Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
