make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
