party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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