dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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