It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
