your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize