Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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