singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she smelled like a LAN party
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
