I want to stick my p in your. b.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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