Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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