Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
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