Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
this is an emotional support booty call
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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