walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
