If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
