last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
