I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
