So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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