wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Found the puke drawer
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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