Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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