I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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