where does the pee come out of this thing
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
