I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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