I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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