I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
