OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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