I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
