Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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