He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
