What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
