can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
