She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
