even my farts smell like vagina
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
