I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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