the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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