its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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