i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
