i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
