So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I've blown a few things in my day
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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