Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
