Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
