Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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