it wasn't lemon gatorade
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
