Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm at about main and main street
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
