Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize