I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
