i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
