Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
