I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
wow bdsm is so cute
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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